On my birthday my family had a surprise party for me, I ended up with a stash of cash and some great gifts. I thought with the money I would be able to go and do the recording for my dad and use my birthday money to pay for it, so that's what I did.
This is where the plot thickens, I met Les Buck at a karaoke night some time before and he was interested in the cd so I gave him a copy and told him what it was for, He said that he was into photography and suggested that we make it look like a proper cd, like you get in the shops! I thought why not? So that's what we did. I gave a copy to my dad, uncle, and sister (getting the picture?).
This disease started as emphysema and spread through her body, eventually it reached her brain, and started down the spine,at the beginning of this illness we were a normal everyday family, by the end we were shattered. My mum and dad made the decision early on in the illness not to tell the kids I was 47 at the time with a family of my own, but just to let us think it was a problem with her lungs that the hospital were working on, when she went in for the day now and then. So we carried on as you do with my 2 Brothers Dave, Phillip and Sister Susan. We went away on the annual holidays went to work all the normal things that you do every day, Living.
The Cancer started to progress when my sister and I were away with our families (and half of Birchwood) when it turned nasty and we got a call that mum might pass away. We were stuck in Greece trying to get home, Dad trying to calm us down and saying it would be Ok! She did recover a little almost overnight.
When we got home we wanted to know what was going on and that's when we found out the truth, we were told it was, "Terminal Cancer no cure." We did the best that we could Family & Friends rallied around, Linda Robinson and my sister Sue was fantastic with Mum, Bed baths and girly stuff (it's a woman thing apparently men don't know about). A bed was sorted out for downstairs, then a Stairmaster arrived and then a machine for getting in and out of the Bath!! Mum loved it everyone making a fuss, watching the telly with the grand kids, I even remember the 9-11 incident sat on the bed, Mum thought it was a Bruce Willis film!But, bit by bit she started to get worse, one day she asked me to show her how to work the remote for the telly, it dawned on me then that I had shown her every day I had visited. She said to me " I'm talking broken biscuits aren't I son". It hit me then when this woman, my Mum who had been there all our lives had been reduced to "Broken Biscuits" by this Illness.
I don't remember when Macmillan's arrived but I do remember being defensive about some one else apart from Linda and Sue, a stranger, being there. But, as we got further along the illness I began to understand the reasons why things are done in specific ways. The Nurses looked after Mum so Linda & Sue could have a breather. The nurses knew the outcome, seen it all before, they knew the Illness and how it progressed.
The Nurse's name we remember was Val, she always seemed to be there, like a Doctor in the Hospital, whenever I went, there was Val talking to Mum and tidying up, a perfect professional.
Val tried to give Mum back her dignity and some kind of quality of life. Mum tried to fight this thing to the end with Val and her team helping her anyway possible.
The night Mum died Val took me to one side (I am The Eldest and therefore I get the Crap first "Mums rules" ) and told me, quote " Your Mum will pass away before morning". "How do you know that I asked" alarmed. "Your Mum's feet are cold"
"My Mums feet are always cold, ask me Dad" She replied "it's moving up" this was nurse code for "she's at the end". It was Val who suggested that I contact the local priest to arrange for him to call, mum wanted the "last rights" she said or as she told me "it doesn't hurt to have insurance"
Val made mum comfortable and sometime during the night she vanished, I never got to say thank you. I was dubious at first I thought what if she wakes up with a priest standing over her, like in some Spencer Tracy movie, babbling away and she wakes up? It would frighten her to death (pardon the pun) but Val said it was important to my mum so, I spent hours ringing around, the first priest said he "wasn't on call" so he gave me another number to call, this one said "It's not really my parish area". Another number after what seemed like an eternity I ended up with the number of the first priest that I rang. I explained the situation and the calls and he agreed to come.
Now I know when you go through this sort of situation you tend to forget that a priest is a person with feelings he might have had a bad day or whatever and that he is entitled to "Chill Out" however
I said to my Dad "Unless he's about 6ft 6inches and 7 foot across the chest I'm gonna give it him when he gets here" anyway when he got to the house, he had to bend down to come in through the door.
My Old man looked up at him and said to me "Go on son give it him"
I would have had to stand on a box, to reach his knees.
The time come for the priest to perform the last rites, the scene of the family around the foot of the bed will stay with me forever all trying not to cry, keep it dignified, you all probably know the score we're not the only ones to have been here.
But then half way through the Latin transcripts my Mum woke up! Not half awake or half asleep but awake. just as if she was well, my jaw dropped about 3 foot with shock!
She looked at us all then at the priest, "what you doing" she asked "well Margaret" the priest replied, "we come into the world with nothing and we leave the world with nothing"
It was obvious he was startled and lost for words but he kept trying to explain when mum cut across withThat sums up my mother she had the last word as usual, and with one of God's representatives at that. We were all in bits but what a way to end a colourful life!
So when Steve said why don't you do something positive with that cd it seemed obvious to me where and what I should try and do with it. I planned to make about 100 discs and sell them in the pub, but Les wouldn't have any of it and so here we are. I went to see Rebecca at Macmillan's and the story goes on.................
